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There is more to Courtship than just going on a date, seeing a movie or love without a cause.


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Love, dating, Relationship


Courtship should be a time for thorough scrutiny, weighing options, being circumspect and taking notes before the big question. If you plan taking your relationship to the next phase then read along.

People want to settle down for diverse reasons, so it’s your obligation to know that of your partner’s.

 Ask questions about your partner's family, tradition, home management, job/career short/long term goals, children.

Family

As you progress into the courtship, give room for discussion on both families. Pay attention to details dished out on this; record how every character is described (your prospective in – laws) because secrets are revealed in deep conversation. In your quiet time ,reminisce on those words, separate the problematic characters from the easy going to find out the ratio, then ask yourself if they match your personality, imagine living and associating with them.Can you withstand such people.

If the problematic are more than the easy going, there’s every possibility of your home being eventful each time they come around in the future.

Read also: Getting married checklist: the ideal Husband, Wife and Mother in-law.

Relationship: should the past be discussed or buried?


Tradition

Our root defines us which we can’t abscond from. Every tradition has strict rules and regulations guiding them and must not be tampered with. Perpetrators are brought to book or punished severely.

There are tales of women crying out on how cruel and unfair their partner’s tradition is, but they didn’t ask questions during courtship before consummating the Union.

There are places were certain animal(s) are unharmed because of what transpired between them and ancestors of such place; I have heard tale of crocodiles attacking andchasing out invaders from terrorizing a community.

In most cases, festivals are held in honor of the dead,male or female child, women or even deities …which could be totally against your belief.

There are places were cheating spouse are struck with unknown illness which result to death if they fail to confess their sins. It is very mandatory to know the culture and tradition of your prospective in – laws to avoid regret and hating on your partner.


Home management

In African, the male folk are seen as demi god and they helping out in performing domestic chores was/is prohibited and seen as a disrespect, but most women are changing such narrative today. Wherever love is taking you, endeavor to find out the pattern, morals and etiquette your partner grew up to.

Was running errands a girl or general thing? Who did the laundry? How were younger siblings treated growing up, who did the cooking and dishes? Who flushed after each visit to the white house? reaction to provocation.


It is necessary to know all these because we were groomed differently. What members of home A sees as a norm could be a sacrilege in home B .If fate connects each member together,there will be conflicting views and neither of them will ever reach a conclusion amicably.


Job/career


We've seen cases of spouses asking their partner to stop work simply because of the stereotype on a particular gender being the weaker vessel.

Some had their mum filling both roles of mother and father because their father refused to take responsibility… Meeting someone who falls into this category means walking the rope yourself with no assistance from your partner.

For some,the woman must not earn higher because she would become arrogant and not submit to his authority.

There are those who believe all hands must be on deck; both partner working to meet ends need.

Discuss this so that you won’t migrate from an eager beaver to a liability because someone else thinks otherwise.


Short/long term goals

Of a truth no one knows the future but one must prepare effectively. Ask for one year plan,5 years plan.

Do those plans align with yours too? Do you envisage such future too? Do you think your partner is focused enough or a potential hazard waiting to happen?



Children

This might sound weird but not everyone wants a child or love being around them. Someone once told me that if he ever gets married,he wouldn’t want to have a child. I shook my head in pity for the innocent lady that would fall prey.

If you want to raise babies which is a secondary aim of marriage along side companionship, ask your partner their view on such so that you won’t be unfortunate to marry a person who doesn’t want one.





2 comments:

  1. Hi from MBC! Just wanted to send a little encouragement and say this blog looks like it's coming along nicely. Keep up the great work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate greatly.

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